Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
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I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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