So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Hippo gnu deer
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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