Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
