If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
