maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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