I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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