My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
