ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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