I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
