2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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