dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
These tits shall not be calmed
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize