What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
whose parrot is this?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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