So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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