i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
