u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize