I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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