I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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