your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
