Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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