It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
