I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
