Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
