I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
