yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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