im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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