Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
