He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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