I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
