I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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