carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I believe in your delicious
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
