Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
