Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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