Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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