is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
