I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Terrible idea I love it
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
