Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
