Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
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how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
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You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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