it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
