I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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