Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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