who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
