I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
is that a dick in a sweater?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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