and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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