we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
