And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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