I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
