I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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