My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Mom said you looked used
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
