She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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