It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
You smell like stripper and shame
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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