I want to stick my p in your. b.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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