after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
