Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
