i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My balls are so social today.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
