I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
