I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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