So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
