Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
