guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize