I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
