You're my little dorito
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
