she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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