i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
